he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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