I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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