Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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