i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize