I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize