I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize