weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
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She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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