guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize