So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
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They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
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i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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