he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize