This girl is more easily done than said...
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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