if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
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Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
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Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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