If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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