it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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