Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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