My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize