All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
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