Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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