Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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