God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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