No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize