I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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