Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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