Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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