she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
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I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
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She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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