Do you still have your period?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize