you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize