hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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