He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
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Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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