If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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