everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize