Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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