Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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