Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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