i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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