Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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