I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
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Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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