Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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