Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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