she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize