I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize