How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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