I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize