I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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