I wanna bring you to show and tell
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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