My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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