the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
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WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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