Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
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i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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