So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can't turn off my feet"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize