I wanna passion pit in your ass
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
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I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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