Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize